My Life

Well a bit late than i expected to post, there has been a fair bit on.

While in the cinema a few days ago me and Sarah where holding hands (slyly) and i now know how she feels. Im not sure how i feel. Its been an odd few weeks really.

I want Jane and Sarah, but the way things are going i think i might, only might make things drift apart between me and Jane and find out what happens. It might be a bad idea, i just hope someone in uni hits on her or she accuses me of cheating again to i can finish it properly. I don't want to be hated by her family.

Ah well, life is a bit. Any one wants to comment you are more than welcome.

Its been a while since I last saw Sarah, she has missed 3 things that we have arranged in the past week and i dont think it is going to get much better. Me and Elz tryed to organise going to the cinema this week, but it is always "Got Work" "Going out with Lewis" "Shopping with my brother" and so on, so I really get the feeling that she is avoiding me. I think its just me because her and Elz went out to dinner the otherday (for the 1st time i wasnt invited).

Things with me and Jane are going ok, a few ups and downs as happen. I am getting awfully tired from work full time and as I have money and she doesnt about half my wages after saving and rent go to her for train to get to uni etc.

My other friend Rhian (yes anouther girl) is coming home from uni in a few days and we are going out partying, not sure if Jane and Lewis will join us... probly not. Anyway Rhian is my drinking partener but she recently started uni in a long away place and doesnt come home very often. She is coming home now because its a relitives funeral.

Anyway i better sign out, need to get ready for work.

John Doe

Hi again,

Well its been a disturbing day all around, Sarah has got with Lewis, and Jane has gone out partying leaving me slightly on my own. I went over my friend Elizabeth house (of course not her real name) and we watched a film. So I'm kinda down about Sarah, although i cant let Jane know that for obvious reasons, although I think that Sarah has guessed that it is getting to me.

In other news nothing much has happened over the past few days. I haven't entered anything because I have not had the availability to do so, Jane has been around allot over the past few days and I've been over there, like I said earlier she is at a party so I'm free.

I think I'm going to see what happens between lewis and Sarah and be there to pick up the pieces if it all goes to pot. Part of my hopes it does, the other hopes it doesn't. I don't want to see her upset, yet at the same time I don't want to see her with HIM!

Didn't have work today as I get weekends off, pretty fortunate really.

Sarah was met to be coming over Elz house today to watch the film with us, but she blew us off for her boyfriend (i was not impressed and she got an abusive phone call off Elz for abandoning us for this guy).

Anyway that's my blog for the night, should be able to throw one up tomorrow, Jane is out again, late at uni then going out partying again. I might go out to dinner with Sarah and Elz, I will see what happens.

Tomorrow is another day after all.

John

A friend of mine a couple of years ago recommended that I created a blog of my thoughts, ideas, feelings and so on. So I was laying in the bath pondering over my current dilemma and thought, lets do it. So here I am.

My name isn't John Doe, my name inst even John, its an alias to stop people knowing who i am. All names in here are fake, but the people do exist and the thoughts are real. I am expecting people to write some negative feedback, and I really don't care. If you are willing to spend the time to write some positive feedback it is much appreciated.

So onto my dilemma, its the usual guy like girl thing, but the guy has a girlfriend already, and the girl that he likes is going to be getting with a guy.

Easy way to do this is to make up names now

Me – John Doe (original ay)
My Girlfriend - Jane Smith (also original)

Girl I like – Sarah Jane

Other Guy – Lewis Ryan

(sorry to you people who's names are above, I repeat again that these are not the real names).

OK, so I've been best friends with Sarah for about two years, since we started our A/S levels when we first met. We have been extremely close every since. I've been going out with Jane for just over a year, 15months not long ago to be a bit more precise. Lewis has liked Sarah for just over a year, but had a girlfriend and didn't finish with her for Sarah (ironic really because I know exactly where he is coming from).

Anyway, I've always had a certain thing for Sarah, but I've never taken it further than extreme mutual flirting. We are just as bad as each other, even if she doesn't realise it. However recently its been getting worse and worse and now I'm split between Jane and Sarah, things are good between me and Jane, however she has just gone to uni and she is going to be out a lot so I wont see much of her, however same could be said about Sarah. I'm not in university this year because I have been asked to work for a company for a year, and it will allow me to make up some money ready for uni next year.

Jane has accused me of cheating on her with Sarah before now, however I managed to convince her that nothing is going on because its not, and that I don't like her in that way (not 100% true).

I was talking to Sarah earlier and it turns out that Lewis has recently broken up with his girlfriend and they went to the cinema yesterday, but nothing happened. I think its going to be a case of seeing what happens between them. If they do get together its going to be a thing of waiting and seeing what happens.

Any input?

Thanks for reading

John Doe

P.S. I will try to update tomorrow (can't if Jane is around)

Current Moods: Happy, Tired, Confused
Currently Listening to: Crape Diem Baby - Metallica